Nerdehumortråden

[Lutetium 71]

Bond: Makes us wonder.

[Gjest Herr Heftig]

Jeg stjal noen (alle) vitser.

http://www.webhostingtalk.com/showthread.php?t=456531

* There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't

* If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

* I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly

* My software never has bugs. It just develops random features

* Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you

* In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

* Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk

* I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

* The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX

* A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax

* Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly

* A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila

* The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong

* UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity

* Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

* C://dos

C://dos.run

run.dos.run

* You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead

* JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!

* 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

* Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive

* How do I set a laser printer to stun?

* There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer

* Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button

* It's not bogus, it's an IBM standard

* Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!

* The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are

* Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers

* The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers

* If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won't mar the furniture

* COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

* Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning

* LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses

* The beginning of the programmer's wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program

* Squash one bug, you'll see ten new bugs popping

* Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs

* boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts

* We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again

* Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted

* If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBO

* Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner

* Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut

* Unrecognized input, get out of the class

* Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !

* WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER

* Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes

* Best file compression around: "rm *.*" = 100% compression

* Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is "c:\> hack into fbi"

* BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

* I survived an NT installation

* The name is Baud......James Baud

* My new car runs at 56Kbps

* Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

* File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

* Cannot read data, leech the next boy's paper? (Y/N)

* CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?

* Does fuzzy logic tickle?

* Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?

* Windows: Just another pane in the glass

* Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

* RAM disk is not an installation procedure

* Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

* The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?

* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

* E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage

* Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

* All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

* Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue

* Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the 'OK' button to continue

* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

* Press every key to continue

* Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where's that 'any key'..

* Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!

* Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources

* To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so

* (001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing

* Clinton:/> READ | PARSE | WRITE | DUMP >> MONKIA.SYS

* (D)inner not ready: (A)bort ®etry (P)izza

* Computers can never replace human stupidity

* A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)

* (A)bort, ®etry, (P)anic?

* Bugs come in through open Windows

* Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun

* Unix is user friendly...its just selective about who its friends are

* Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity

* Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.

* To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.

* Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )

* FUBAR - where Geeks go for a drink

* I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm just not attracted to her anymore

* Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning

* Black holes are where God divided by zero

* Hey! It compiles! Ship it!

* Thank god, my baby just compiled

* Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output

* Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously

* Zap! And there was the blue screen !

* Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost :-)

* MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, ®ead one by one, ©heck for more spam

* A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don't use them

* PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days

* 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist

* 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied

* Error message: "Out of paper on drive D:"

* If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

* A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

* "Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?"

* Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface

* Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam

* Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall

* Real programmers can write assembly code in any language

* Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it

* Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?

* Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?

* All computers run at the same speed... with the power off

* You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out

* Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.

* Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it ©ancel

* Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet

* Shut up, or i'll flush you out

* Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour

* We are experiencing system trouble -- do not adjust your terminal

* You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.

* I'm sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you

* Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway

* Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?

* If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don't understand the question

* Having soundcards is nice... having embedded sound in web pages is not

* My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half

* You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old

* Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours

* I'm sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)

* Ah, young webmaster... java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering

* What color do you want that database?

* C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can't read any of them

* As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code

* earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can

* A typical yahoo chat room: "A has signed in, A has signed out, B has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out.."

* When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop

* Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue

* Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product

* NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands

* Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !

* NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out, and re-install new one

* JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash

* How's my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL

* Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls - my PC speaker crashed NT

* root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is 'a_49qwXk'

* New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null

* Quake and uptime do not like each other

* Unix...best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038

* As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria -- Final Fantasy VIII

* Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo

* Unix is the only virus with a command line interface

* Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system

* How are we supposed to hack your system if it's always down!

* God is real, unless declared integer

* I'm tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?

* Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue

* It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions

* Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$$

* If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery

* Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle

* Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption

* Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save ®un after download

* I had a dream... and there were 1's and 0's everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!

* You sir, are an unknown USB device driver

* C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void

[Lutetium 71]

* There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer

Very true.

[Gjest Herr Heftig]

Very true.

Akkurat den skjønte jeg ikke, så gjerne utdyp.

[Lutetium 71]

Akkurat den skjønte jeg ikke, så gjerne utdyp.

Det er mye mer tilfredstillende å nappe ut strømmen på den forp***e datadr***en som lager krøll for n'te gang, enn å starte den omatt ved å gå til start > start på nytt.

[Gjest Herr Heftig]

Ahh, skjønner. Jeg trodde boot bare var vanlig oppstart.

[Zzyzx]

Jeg blir helt mo i knærne hver gang jeg ser denne videoen. (Ja, jeg har alltid likt nerder. )

Hele teksten ligger under videoen på Youtube.

[Gjest Bond]

Bare må deles:

[Lutetium 71]

Bare må deles:

I want one!

[Wonders]

Endret 19. september 2012 av Wonders

[Rofl]

Bra tråd

[Lutetium 71]

Bra tråd

Bidra gjerne med egne bidrag om du lyster, lenker, vitser, bilder, video, og whatnot!

Kan ta med noe jeg fant:

Kanskje ikke akkurat humor, men rart er det, tycker jäg. Scienceopera!

Forklaringen finner man her.

[Missandei]

Vet ikke om den egenlig passer inn i trådens tema, men veldig fascinerende:

Klikk og dra

Noen som har tålmodighet nok til å se om det finnes en slutt? :gjeiper:

[Gjest strykebrett]

Vet ikke om den egenlig passer inn i trådens tema, men veldig fascinerende:

Klikk og dra

Noen som har tålmodighet nok til å se om det finnes en slutt? :gjeiper:

Jeg kom til enden! Men jeg gikk bare mot venstre da, uvisst hva som hadde skjedd om jeg hadde gått andre veien.

[Missandei]

Jeg kom til enden! Men jeg gikk bare mot venstre da, uvisst hva som hadde skjedd om jeg hadde gått andre veien.

Jeg gikk til høyre, ga meg etter 5 min ca, da var jeg ikke ved enden. Men jeg stoppa og kikka litt her og der og da. Hva var det i enden?

[Lutetium 71]

Vet ikke om den egenlig passer inn i trådens tema, men veldig fascinerende:

Klikk og dra

Noen som har tålmodighet nok til å se om det finnes en slutt? :gjeiper:

Wow!

Til å begynne med, forsto jeg ikke poenget. Det var bare bilde av ett tre?

Men så begynte jeg å dra...

Denne her var jo fin:

Edit: Den "tegneserien" må da egne seg veldig bra for nettbrett? Ble gåen av å bruke musa på å scrolle rundt i det der.

Endret 20. september 2012 av Lutetium 71

[Gjest Gunfreak]

Jeg fant en X-Wing dypt nede i en hule, jeg kom meg ikke ut av hule systemt før etter 10 minutter

[Missandei]

Wow!

Til å begynne med, forsto jeg ikke poenget. Det var bare bilde av ett tre?

Men så begynte jeg å dra...

Haha, det var akkurat samme opplevelsen jeg hadde de første sekundene og.

[Missandei]

Linker likegodt til en video jeg nettopp linket til i en annen tråd, videoen inneholder superfine bilder (og fin musikk). Bildene er tatt av den norske fotografen Terje Sørgjerd. Det er absolutt ikke humor, så jeg er nok litt off-topic, men siden jeg allerede har begynt på fantastiske bilder:

Får legge ut litt nerdehumor også kanskje da.

Endret 20. september 2012 av Missandei

[Norbertine]

Vet ikke om den egenlig passer inn i trådens tema, men veldig fascinerende:

Klikk og dra

Noen som har tålmodighet nok til å se om det finnes en slutt? :gjeiper:

Jeg hadde også tenkt å poste denne. Den er visstnok 14 meter lang!

Her finnes en zoomversjon: http://xkcd-map.rent-a-geek.de/#10/1.0999/0.1998