Punny play with words

[Gjest Cruella]

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual. . ."

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What, just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.

I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam"

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."

[tuji]

Dødsbra! Likte Tom Jones-vitsen spesielt godt.

[RoadQueen]

Kjempemorsomt!!!

[tuji]

Når jeg tenker meg om, likte jeg alle spesielt godt.

[Gjest Cruella]

Ikke alle jeg skjønte selv umiddelbart, men når tåka letter....; kjempemorsomt!

[Gjest Anonymous]

Det minner meg litt om hva som var tema da foreningen for dyslektiske agnostikere i Ipswich arrangerte åpent møte:

Is there a Dog?

[tuji]

[Gjest Anonymous]

   

Det minner meg litt om hva som var tema da foreningen for dyslektiske agnostikere i Ipswich arrangerte åpent møte:

Is there a Dog?

Eller denne avisoverskriften:

Dyslexic youth sells his soul to Santa.