Hjelp , engelsk tentamen

[Gjest sjoan]

Hei

Eg har skreve ein stil i Engelsk ( artikkel ) ville bli veldig taknemmelig vis dåke kunne rette den og gi med tips og råd på ka eg er dårlig i og ka eg kan forbedre meg i.

Eg går i 1VGS almenn

Would you suggest a picture of air balloons with only one color, or different colors? A Society with only one culture, or many cultures?

Can you imagine a world where everybody are thinking and acting like each other?

Multi-cultural societies are a society where people have different cultures. That means different food, language, clothes, thinking, rules, religion and more. We have many cultures in our world. In many countries there are different cultures. But in almost every country has an officially culture which presents the country. One of the most important things to mention when we explain culture is religion. Religion is a part of human thinking and acting. Religion decides how much of our body we can show. It has also an important role of our food; in some religion you can’t eat some food because it’s against the religion.

In the United States of America there are many different cultures. The reason is that immigrants from all over the Europe captured America and settled down. There were most immigrants from Spain, Ireland, England, Asia, and some from Norway. After a while they got a government. USA became to a Country with many states. The white people got the majority because most of the Americans are from Europe. Today USA Is multi-cultural society , without so many problems , but there have been troubles in USA cause of different cultures in the past.

Kurds are one of the biggest societies which don’t have their own country. There are many different cultures in the Kurdish society. There are different religions in Kurdistan, Muslims, Christians, Jude’s, and yzidi. Their live differently have different food, different houses, and different clothes. Kurdistan was split in 4 after First World War. The country had one culture before they split it, but after that it became a part of 4 other countries therefore there are different cultures now. The yzidi have always been in the Kurdish society. Their culture is very different from the other cultures. They have their own religion, food, clothes, and rules. People from other cultures can’t become yzidi because they don’t accept new members in their society. Yzidi are not really Kurds because they have different culture and speak different. So Kurds are those who speak Kurdish, and not Arabic blend with Kurdish language.

Multi-cultural societies are a good thing for humans. It makes the world to a more exciting world. In multi-cultural societies people think in different aspects. In the world we live today we have different food, music, language, and clothes. If there was a world where there was just one culture, then we would not have so many choices. People would not think so differently.

There are also negative aspects of multi-culture societies. In a multi-culture society people are different some people don’t accept that people can be different, they think that other person in other cultures are stupid and that they are not worth as much as persons in their own culture. For example Hitler wanted to burn all the Jude’s because in his way of thinking only the white, Christian persons were valuable. Therefore if we had just one culture then there would maybe be less war and conflicts.

I think that a multi-cultural society is great. It makes this world exciting. Imagine a picture with many air balloons in one color. I think it would be a boring picture. What if we had a picture of many air balloons in many colors? I think the picture with many colors look greater in many ways. Look at the world in the same view, a society with only one culture would be very boring if you ask me!

[snusmumriken]

Hei

Eg har skreve ein stil i Engelsk ( artikkel ) ville bli veldig taknemmelig vis dåke kunne rette den og gi med tips og råd på ka eg er dårlig i og ka eg kan forbedre meg i.

Eg går i 1VGS almenn

Would you suggest a picture of air balloons with only one color, or different colors? A Society with only one culture, or many cultures?

Can you imagine a world where everybody are thinking and acting like each other?

Multi-cultural societies are a society where people have different cultures. That means different food, language, clothes, thinking, rules, religion and more. We have many cultures in our world. In many countries there are different cultures. But in almost every country has an officially culture which presents the country. One of the most important things to mention when we explain culture is religion. Religion is a part of human thinking and acting. Religion decides how much of our body we can show. It has also an important role of our food; in some religion you can’t eat some food because it’s against the religion.

In the United States of America there are many different cultures. The reason is that immigrants from all over the Europe captured America and settled down. There were most immigrants from Spain, Ireland, England, Asia, and some from Norway. After a while they got a government. USA became to a Country with many states. The white people got the majority because most of the Americans are from Europe. Today USA Is multi-cultural society , without so many problems , but there have been troubles in USA cause of different cultures in the past.

Kurds are one of the biggest societies which don’t have their own country. There are many different cultures in the Kurdish society. There are different religions in Kurdistan, Muslims, Christians, Jude’s, and yzidi. Their live differently have different food, different houses, and different clothes. Kurdistan was split in 4 after First World War. The country had one culture before they split it, but after that it became a part of 4 other countries therefore there are different cultures now. The yzidi have always been in the Kurdish society. Their culture is very different from the other cultures. They have their own religion, food, clothes, and rules. People from other cultures can’t become yzidi because they don’t accept new members in their society. Yzidi are not really Kurds because they have different culture and speak different. So Kurds are those who speak Kurdish, and not Arabic blend with Kurdish language.

Multi-cultural societies are a good thing for humans. It makes the world to a more exciting world. In multi-cultural societies people think in different aspects. In the world we live today we have different food, music, language, and clothes. If there was a world where there was just one culture, then we would not have so many choices. People would not think so differently.

There are also negative aspects of multi-culture societies. In a multi-culture society people are different some people don’t accept that people can be different, they think that other person in other cultures are stupid and that they are not worth as much as persons in their own culture. For example Hitler wanted to burn all the Jude’s because in his way of thinking only the white, Christian persons were valuable. Therefore if we had just one culture then there would maybe be less war and conflicts.

I think that a multi-cultural society is great. It makes this world exciting. Imagine a picture with many air balloons in one color. I think it would be a boring picture. What if we had a picture of many air balloons in many colors? I think the picture with many colors look greater in many ways. Look at the world in the same view, a society with only one culture would be very boring if you ask me!

kan du si litt om hva oppgaven er, hva er målsetningen? Ellers er det vanskelig å si noe om struktur og argumenter og slikt. Rent språklig sett er det mye bra, kun 3 ting jeg vil peke på:

1. som mange andre lider du av "got"-syndromet "they got a government", "they got the majority" etc. prøv å finne på andre ord for å erstatte got!

2. I en formell tekst som dette skal du aldri bruke "sammentrekningener" som don't. skriv "do not" - alltid.

3. Pass på å ikke bruke direkte oversettelser av norske uttrykk, som f.eks. "USA became to a Country with many" forslag: developed into

Ellers har du god grammatikk,kun små (tulle?)feil vil du ha en utfordring, forsøk å skrive mer sofistikert, forsøk å få mer variasjon i ordene du bruker - engelsk er særdeles ordrikt, bruk dem!

[Glynis]

Fet skrift: Feil.

Kursiv skrift: Fungerer ikke, skriv om.

Multi-cultural societies are a society where people have different cultures. That means different food, language, clothes, thinking, rules, religion and more. We have many cultures in our world. In many countries there are different cultures. But in almost every country has an officially culture which presents the country. One of the most important things to mention when we explain culture is religion. Religion is a part of human thinking and acting. Religion decides how much of our body we can show. It has also an important role of our food; in some religion you can’t eat some food because it’s against the religion.

In the United States of America there are many different cultures. The reason is that immigrants from all over the Europe captured America and settled down. There were most immigrants from Spain, Ireland, England, Asia, and some from Norway. After a while they got a government. USA became to a Country with many states. The white people got the majority because most of the Americans are from Europe. Today USA Is multi-cultural society , without so many problems , but there have been troubles in USA cause of different cultures in the past.

[Gjest sjoan]

Eg skulle skrive ein artikkel til eit engelsk magasin om Multi cultural societies , Det var til tentamen, Eg hadde ikkje lest så mykje om dette temaet så eg skreiv bare da som dukka opp i håve på meg , trur eg havna i grøften siden eg ikkje brukte noen kjelder. det sa læraren verfall, men eg fekk lov til å rette på den og få ny karrakter.

[Cæmis]

pass på å ikke bli tatt for juks...tenker på teksten ligger ute her og andre retter den. Vet ikke hvor strengt det er, men bare et tips.

[Gjest Gjest]

ho sa ikkje noko om kva hjelpemiddel me kunne bruke til å rette stilen , så ho kan ikkje sei noko uansett , trur eg