Historien om hvordan Amerikanske Marinesoldater ble totalt ydmyket av Norske skolebarn

[Bad Advice]

Fra Reddit: Måtte bare poste for denne var hysterisk morsom.

Swarming kids are no goddamn joke, man. So - true story. And yes it's relevant.

In the U.S. Marines, doing a mock war in the Norwegian city of Trondheim with the Dutch, Germans and other allies, training in urban combat. My infantry unit was positioned in a large soccer field next to an elementary school. Keep in mind there was no actual combat, even simulated; it was mostly just practicing maneuvers and tactics. But we still looked out of place with weapons and gear, etc. It's fucking February. In Norway. Cold as balls. Snow up to our knees. Norway obviously has no snow days, so the kids were all in school.

Anyway, so Norway has this most delicious and amazing delicacy, I have no idea what it's called, but it's basically a bacon-wrapped hot dog; we just assumed it was called Candy of the Lord. As Americans we were naturally and instantly addicted. You find them at gas stations, and there just happened to be one on the other side of the school where we were camped. A few of my fellow Marines and I requested permission to go to the gas station and we set out on our way.

We made it to right about where the main entrance of the school was, and the doors opened; school was out. There were only a few kids, probably 6 or 7 years old. Lots of talking and laughing. Gawking at us as we walked by, with our guns and huge ridiculous snow suits. One precocious little bugger made shooting noises at us. We made shooting noises back.

And then someone in my group. I don't know who. God help me I don't know who...

Someone threw a snowball and hit a little girl in the leg.

And those little Norwegian children unleashed hell.

There was a shrill cry in unintelligible gibberish and the doors to the school burst open. School children flooded out like a never-ending flood of something that never ends. Screeching, smiling, sprinting - how the fuck were they sprinting?? - little bastards were slinging snowballs faster than the laws of physics should allow. It was like that movie Elf. If you can imagine riding in a fast car in a snowstorm and sticking your head out the window. Now imagine the snowflakes that are hitting your face are the size of snowballs. We couldn't fucking see. We couldn't run. We could barely breathe. Holy fuck....

We tried to return fire and threw one, maybe two half-packed, shitty snowballs that fell apart in the air, arms flailing like limp-wristed fairies. I am from Texas. We were a unit stationed in North Carolina. We were so outmatched and out of our element, it only made them laugh harder. We were cutoff from our main forces. We tried to perform a flanking maneuver but fuck me they were fast. I think some of them were throwing rocks!

My comrades. I could see them speed waddling in their huge suits back to camp like a fucked up pair of white Teletubbies, under withering fire. Fuck tactics, fuck me, fuck the Candy of the Lord, this was survival! I was the slow one in the group. My snowboots were too big but they were the smallest size they had at Issue goddammit!! My Marines left me behind.

I tried pulling my hood over my head and keeping my head down. No longer content to pelt my defenseless body with ballistic snow, the enemy swarmed me and dragged me down, cackling like a pack of hyenas descending on a wildebeest. I tried to sling them off by spinning. I came out of one of my boots and fell. I began to scream and plead for them to stop but they neither understood nor gave a single fuck. They literally pinned me down with about five kids on each limb. It was then that I actually thought - oh fuck. I'm really in trouble. My gloves were ripped off and slung into trees. They started shoving snow down my suit. Have you ever had anyone drop an ice cube down your shirt?

Well now imagine someone shoveling handfuls of ice cubes down your shirt. It literally shocked the breath out of my body. Thisishowidie.jpg.gif

They left me laying like a Family Guy accident victim. Moaning and screaming in the cold. Rifle packed with snow and dirt. Boot buried some-fucking-where. They ran away laughing, jabbering in their crazy language. I lay there trying to figure out just what in the great American fuck had happened.

TL;DR - Norwegians discover way to defeat American Marines during war games using bacon and small children. LPT-don't ever, ever get in a snowball fight with Norwegian school kids.

[Gjest iGirl]

haha fantastisk

[AnonymBruker]

LINK!

Anonymous poster hash: 74288...82e

[Lutetium 71]

Steinbra!

[Bad Advice]

LINK!

Anonymous poster hash: 74288...82e

http://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/1w0sav/6th_grade_girl_bullies_get_destroyed/cexnfsr?context=3

[Gjest Kaffekrus]

Ler så tårene spruter.

[AnonymBruker]

Jeg nekter å tro at amerikanere ikke har baconpølse?!!!!!

Anonymous poster hash: e4f61...06a

[Bad Advice]

Jeg nekter å tro at amerikanere ikke har baconpølse?!!!!!

Anonymous poster hash: e4f61...06a

Haha, ja. Denne reagerte jeg også på, det MÅ de jo bare ha? Ellers så er det en av tidenes største forretningsmuligheter.

[AnonymBruker]

Haha, ja. Denne reagerte jeg også på, det MÅ de jo bare ha? Ellers så er det en av tidenes største forretningsmuligheter.

Fikk nettopp en veldig god idé til hvordan jeg kan skaffe meg green card til USA

Anonymous poster hash: e4f61...06a

[Bellablue]

De har baconpølse i statene. I vært fall i LA. Selges fra street vendors og kalles pig in a pig eller pig in a blanket.

Men jeg har bare sett de i LA og de er ikke like gode som baconpølse i Norge.

[AnonymBruker]

Kanskje de ikke har ost i pølsa?

Men altså. Kall meg gjerne treig, men jeg skjønner ikke hva pølsa hadde med historien å gjøre? Historien var vel bare at han ble dykket? På vei fra bensinstasjonen?

Anonymous poster hash: 204d0...f0e

[AnonymBruker]

Kanskje de ikke har ost i pølsa?

Men altså. Kall meg gjerne treig, men jeg skjønner ikke hva pølsa hadde med historien å gjøre? Historien var vel bare at han ble dykket? På vei fra bensinstasjonen?

Anonymous poster hash: 204d0...f0e

Det var pølsene som "lokka" ham til bensinstasjonen.

Anonymous poster hash: cd268...5e2

[Silfen]

Den var HELT fantastisk! Er det mulig!

[Gjest Tekola]

Fantastisk!

[AnonymBruker]

Må ta denne som anonym, for dette er flaut. Jeg skjønte ikke helt greia.. Er det tull? Hvis ikke: Hva gjorde de i Trondheim? Når var dette?

Haha, skjemmes av meg selv her, men måtte bare spørre..

Anonymous poster hash: 04a27...c7e

[AnonymBruker]

Må ta denne som anonym, for dette er flaut. Jeg skjønte ikke helt greia.. Er det tull? Hvis ikke: Hva gjorde de i Trondheim? Når var dette?

Haha, skjemmes av meg selv her, men måtte bare spørre..

Anonymous poster hash: 04a27...c7e

Amerikanske marinesoldater pluss deres allierte var på trening i Trondheim, for å få brynt seg mot den norske vinteren.

Vet ikke når det var, men har sett på slike treninger selv, og det er ustyrtelig morsomt å løpe litt frem og tilbake bare for å se hvordan de måååååper der de selv står til knes og ikke klarer å bevege seg Nordmenn ftw!

Anonymous poster hash: e4f61...06a

[Gjest meh]

Må ta denne som anonym, for dette er flaut. Jeg skjønte ikke helt greia.. Er det tull? Hvis ikke: Hva gjorde de i Trondheim? Når var dette?

Haha, skjemmes av meg selv her, men måtte bare spørre..

Anonymous poster hash: 04a27...c7e

Cold Response sikkert.

[Bad Advice]

Oooh, la ikke en gang merke til at det var Trondheim. Kan ha vert i fjor, da var det jævlig med snø her!

[momo]

Herlig.

Er ofte utenlandske soldater på øvelse i Norge, spesielt på vinteren.

[AnonymBruker]

Herlig.

Er ofte utenlandske soldater på øvelse i Norge, spesielt på vinteren.

Men skjelden de kan gå på ski!

Anonymous poster hash: cd268...5e2