Aldersforskjell

[Gjest Oppgitt]

Hei jenter!

Tror jeg skal skrive ned noen tanker og følelser angående mitt forhold til ei jente på 20 år her! Håper at mange vil komentere dette, vil gjerne at dere svarer på Engelsk slik at hun også kan lese dette, da hun kommer fra et annet EU land! På forhånd takk!

Vi traff hverandre gjennom jobben, hun er 21, jeg er 40 selv om jeg ser ut som en 28 åring, føler meg heller ikke eldre!! Vi hadde kikket på hverandre og skravlet vennskapelig i ett halvt år før det sa "klikk".... Vi har hatt 6 flotte mnd, før hun plutselig finner noe på internett fra en hun knapt kjenner, der han beskriver meg som en pensjonist! Selvfølgelig er det mye med 20 år, men samtidig så er det mye følelser også. Nå er hun redd for at andre skal se ned på henne, fordi hun nå tror at alle som ser oss sammen, ser på henne som en tulling! Er det feil å være sammen med en som er 20 år eldre? Er det galt av meg å være glad i en som er 20 år yngre? Er det feil av meg og prøve å redde forholdet vårt! Hun viser fortsatt til stadighet at det er masse følelser fra hennes side! Skal hun bry seg om hva andre sier? Vi har pratet masse om alder osv, jeg har tenkt på om det har vært riktig av meg, og innlede ett forhold til henne, men har kommet frem til at det var helt rett, fordi at det er utrolig mye kjærlighet inne i bildet! Burde hun la seg påvirke av ting som er skrevet av andre på internett, eller burde hun følge hjertet sitt??? Håper på mange svar, helst på Engelsk!

Vennlig hilsen

Håpløst forelsket, men med de rette intensjonene.....

På forhånd takk

[Supramundane]

Simply put, love is love.

Love knows no age.

[Gjest missLady]

She should only listen to her heart i think.. Will she be happy if she listen to them and end up alone? I think not!

[Gjest Gjest]

She shouldn't care about what strangers says online. Including me!

She should do what feels right for her. If she thinks the age difference will be a problem, then she has to take this into consideration. What does she want? What do you want? Are you both looking for a serious relationship? What if she wants kids ten years from now, when you are 50, will you have kids at that age? I'm just asking, not judging.

If you both want to stay with eachother and you both are aware of what the future will bring, then I say: Go for it!

[Småkjekset]

I think that as long as you love each other, that's what matters!

You are in an relationship, not the people around you who comment your age difference

[MonicaR]

She should listen to her heart!!! :rødme:

I'm in the same situation as her - in a relationship with a much older man.

I'm 32 - he's 56....

24 years between us.

In the beginning we kind of tried to avoid getting involved....

He had some trouble dealing with the fact that he would get old long befor me, and that he would be a burden to me.

I thought about the same - and that he actually would die a long time before me.... That's sad to think about.

It did, however, not take long before I had made up my mind about what I wanted....:

I will rather have 15-20 GOOD years with him before he gets old, than 35 "ok" years with somebody else....

The reason is the way he makes me feel!

I've never loved anybody as I love him. For the first time I'm actually scared that a man will leave me... Affraid that he'll think TO MUCH about him getting old and I'm still young....

What people think... I do NOT care!!! I love him! And I would NEVER let anybody take away my happiness because somebody else think he's to old....!!

Some people will look at you, yes... Some people will talk about you, yes... And some people will tell you that it is wrong, yes..... But SO WHAT????

If you love eachother and have a good life together, it really should not matter what other people say!!

Listen to your hearts!

[Jade]

19 years are "nothing" as long as you are both adults and mature enough to make your own decisions.

She should forget what she read, and think herself. Are you to old for her? If her heart tells her so, you should respect that.

[Gjest Gjest]

Hva om det hadde vært aldersforskjell "den andre veien?" At du hadde vært yngst?

[Pingting]

Nothing to care about at all. As long as both people are adults, it's ok. (if she was 15 and you were 35 it sould've been different) Maybe it won't work out in the long run because you're at different stages in your lives - but the only way you can find out is by trying! It may work wonderfully!

People are always gonna have opinions, and you can't care too much. Especially not to childish comments as the ones you mentioned.

Good luck

[Gjest Gjest]

20 years is too much, in particular when she's so young.

[Gjest Gjest]

20 years is too much, in particular when she's so young.

Any difference above 10 years between partners should be illegal.

Old males exploiting young females is disgusting.

[Jade]

Any difference above 10 years between partners should be illegal.

Old males exploiting young females is disgusting.

Why? Would you think the same about 40 and 51 years?

[Pialill]

For me age doesnt really matter, as long as you two both have feelings for eachother. And both has good intentions. The bigest problem with a big age difference is when the guy wants a "younger model" and the girl wants a provider. I dont think you are just in this bacause its exciting with younger girls (som er mer faste i formen, hvis du skjønner hva jeg mener:P), it really seems like you care about her. witch is great=)

what you have to ask yourself is if she is in it for the right reasons, and that the reason why she cares about what oher guys are saying, is she really that into you?

does she live here? if she doesnt it might explain why feelings are difficutlt to maintain...

what it all comes down to, if you both like/love eachother age does not matter. By bf is 25 and im 20, not much of an age difference, but some people still thinks he is too old for me, i dont care. A frind of mine is aldo 20 her bf is 38, and my guess they are going to get married soon, they are perfect for eachother=)

it might take some tine for your friends to get used to it, but they will eventually. Most important is that both of you adapt and can spend time with eachothers friends, if you can do that, my guess is that you will last a long time=)

[MonicaR]

Any difference above 10 years between partners should be illegal.

Old males exploiting young females is disgusting.

This is exactly what I was writing about in my former answere... Sombody just have to tell you that this is wrong...

Why is this wrong?

How on earth can you know if someone is exploiting someone or not?

What do you know of other peoples feelings toward eachoter?

There dosen't have to be any age difference for exploitation....

There will always be someone exploiting someone else - regardless of age....

Do not asume that it goes for everybody just because the number of the birthyears does not fit your world....

And just for the cause of it... I'm the youngest in my own relationship (32-56) - and I have been acused of exploting HIM...! So... The young female exploiting the old male.... (We both has similar income, so this has nothing to do with money...) How's that for a change??

-And nobody but ME and HIM knows if this is true or not.....

Again to the couple that started this:

DO NOT listen to what everybody else says...! Go with your hearts!

[Gjest Gjest]

This is exactly what I was writing about in my former answere... Sombody just have to tell you that this is wrong...

Why is this wrong?

How on earth can you know if someone is exploiting someone or not?

What do you know of other peoples feelings toward eachoter?

There dosen't have to be any age difference for exploitation....

There will always be someone exploiting someone else - regardless of age....

Do not asume that it goes for everybody just because the number of the birthyears does not fit your world....

And just for the cause of it... I'm the youngest in my own relationship (32-56) - and I have been acused of exploting HIM...! So... The young female exploiting the old male.... (We both has similar income, so this has nothing to do with money...) How's that for a change??

-And nobody but ME and HIM knows if this is true or not.....

Again to the couple that started this:

DO NOT listen to what everybody else says...! Go with your hearts!

Thank you for your kind words.... This reading (bouth good and bad) cleared her mind, and also mind a lot. It just shows that people dont care about this, as long it`s for the right reasons;o)

[MonicaR]

Thank you for your kind words.... This reading (bouth good and bad) cleared her mind, and also mind a lot. It just shows that people dont care about this, as long it`s for the right reasons;o)

I hope it all turnes out for the best for both of you - whatever you decide!

Take care and good luck!

[mbi002]

For me age doesnt really matter, as long as you two both have feelings for eachother. And both has good intentions. The bigest problem with a big age difference is when the guy wants a "younger model" and the girl wants a provider. I dont think you are just in this bacause its exciting with younger girls (som er mer faste i formen, hvis du skjønner hva jeg mener:P), it really seems like you care about her. witch is great=)

what you have to ask yourself is if she is in it for the right reasons, and that the reason why she cares about what oher guys are saying, is she really that into you?

does she live here? if she doesnt it might explain why feelings are difficutlt to maintain...

what it all comes down to, if you both like/love eachother age does not matter. By bf is 25 and im 20, not much of an age difference, but some people still thinks he is too old for me, i dont care. A frind of mine is aldo 20 her bf is 38, and my guess they are going to get married soon, they are perfect for eachother=)

it might take some tine for your friends to get used to it, but they will eventually. Most important is that both of you adapt and can spend time with eachothers friends, if you can do that, my guess is that you will last a long time=)

I an Pialill's friend, with 38 year old bf (who is also from another country), and we got engaged 5 days after Pialill wrote this; we are now planning our wedding, and our love for each other grows every day. I am lucky to have friends like Pialill as well, though. They have been nothing but supporting, and they can see how well my fiancè and I are together.

Good luck, I hope all will work out well for both of you.

[Chromobotia]

Kjære Ts.

Jeg holder meg til norsk når jeg svarer, det er lenge siden jeg skrev noe på engelsk sist.

Jeg er den yngste i forholdet til min samboer. Vi har et godt liv sammen, deler gleder, sorger, utgifter og oppvasken

Vi tjener en rimelig sum penger hver måned begge to og bruker dem på felles goder (jeg lever absolutt ikke på han). Vi begynte som venner, men det utviklet seg jo som dere forstår. Aldersforskjellen mellom oss er flere og tyve år, så det var vel ingen som trodde det skulle bli noe annet enn vennskap.

Jeg har møtt flere fordomsfulle mennesker disse årene enn det jeg trodde det fantes i hele landet. Folk kan ikke forstå hvorfor vi er sammen. En del venner har skallet av, men hvor gode venner er de egentlig hvis de ikke kan godta meg og mine valg? Det er naturligvis sårende, men en må lære seg å overse det.

Dette er et tema som alle har en mening om, men det er bare de som er involvert som vet hvordan det fungere for dem.

Et forhold med aldersforskjell kan fungere helt utmerket. Så Ts, jeg vil bare si lykke til. Det er faktisk bare dere to som vet om det er riktig for dere.

Endret 25. januar 2009 av Chromobotia

[Pialill]

I an Pialill's friend, with 38 year old bf (who is also from another country), and we got engaged 5 days after Pialill wrote this; we are now planning our wedding, and our love for each other grows every day. I am lucky to have friends like Pialill as well, though. They have been nothing but supporting, and they can see how well my fiancè and I are together.

Good luck, I hope all will work out well for both of you.

=D så du fant meg her inne altså dere er jo absolutt skjønn sammen!=)

Tenk ingen av de andre kjærestene til de i klubbgjengen som hadde laget middag til alle sammen;) hehe