why?

[Gjest Neve]

Sorry for this language. I can't write proper norwegian yet. I hope someone here could help me through this situation I'm in now. My husband is norsk and I'm kanadisk. We got married in Alberta 8 years ago, and been living there since until we moved here last 2 years ago. My husband got a new friend, who became and stilll his bestfriend.

This bestfriend of his, we can call him X. He's from fareast, he have a norwegian girlfriend here in Norway, who loves him!!, she's very hengiven til ham, but X keeps on playing around, cheating on her, sayin' that he isn't inlove w/ his gf, cause he's inlove w/ someone else, somone else who's prettier and sexier than his gf. He keeps on sayin too that his gf is fat. Who in the hell would say that about a gf or a boyfriend??!!? They've been together for one and a half year now.

Recently, he went on to a vacation in the US, met a girl there, fell inlove w/ her too, and married her.. without his girlfriend's knowledge!! Now he's back and he says he's gonna break up with his gf here..but he woo'nt tell her the truth. he'll just say that he lost his feelings for her suddenly.

I feel sad and sick inside me everytime they're here or wvwrytime we're with them baecause I know that the guy X is very dishonest. I hate him! I feel very very sad for his gf. I want to tell her everything, to spare her the pain. now!!

Is that right of me? or should I just let it be? but I can't live with it anymore. I feel so bad. It's not right. It's just dishonesty! I look at her as afriend too, since she's the gf of my husbands bestfriend, and we're often together and finner på noe.

I hope someone can give some advice on what to do.

[Gjest Matsui]

So, let me get this right:

This guy went to the U.S. on vacation and married someone else than his norwegian girlfriend -- and now he doesn't have the balls to tell her??

If this sorry excuse for a man can't seem to muster the guts and resolve to end things with his so called girlfriend, maybe either you or your husband should. If you consider this woman as your friend; tell her. However, if telling her means that you're putting an unreasonable amount of strain on your husband's friendship, maybe you should make your husband talk some sense into this guy.

She should know about this. It's the right thing to do.

Endret 17. mai 2007 av Matsui

[Gjest Gjest]

Hi Neve,

Wow, what a mess this is! I understand that you're in a difficult position. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel about this? Ask your husband what kind of person or friend X is who behaves so badly; hurting other people like that. Since X is your husband's friend, maybe you could ask your husband to talk to X about telling the truth to his girlfriend. If your husband doesn't want to talk to him, maybe you can? If X won't listen, maybe both of you should reconsider your friendship with him. I think you should not be the one who tells her the truth, but if you do tell her, please don't do it without X's notice. He should get the opportunity first. Hopefully, his gf will eventually find out about this sooner or later...

I wish you luck. Take care!