Hvordan styrke henne?

[Loessnned]

We have an 11 year old girl who is very kind. I'm not saying that because she is our child (we have two other children who we can't always say the same about 🙄 ). But she is  very kind. To us, to friends, to other adults. It is often commented on by friends' parents and teachers.   

And it's nice to be kind, the problem is that she becomes too kind. She doesn't dare to speak up or stand up for herself. She's outgoing, has easy contact with people and has many friends, but some of them have zero problems turning their backs on her, rejecting her or saying something hurtful. When they contact her again, our girl acts as if nothing happened. We've talked about it many times. That it's okay to speak up if you're being treated badly, without being mean for that reason. 

What can we as parents do to make her a little tougher? I'm not saying she should be rude, but rather give her the courage to say, "Hey, that's actually not okay!" when needed.

By the way, she has no problem speaking out if we or the brothers do something she thinks is unfair. And even if you would think she was confident in the friends she has had for several years, she is unable to tell them. 

[AnonymBruker]

I was like her when I was younger, but now i’m the opposite. It is possible that she will grow out of it, and become more «thougher», like I did.

I was the kind, outgoing girl when I was younger, but many took advantage of it. My mom always said that I shouldn’t be with those people, but I wanted to be liked and I didn’t want to make enemies, so I stayed quiet when I should have said something. But I grew out of it, it just turned someday. Maybe she will too? There was nothing my parent could do for me, unfortunely. I had to figure it out myself. I think I was around 15 when things started to change.
 

Good luck with your sweet girl

Anonymkode: 222f4...7e8

[AnonymBruker]

It sounds like some of her friends are mean bitches that probably talk bad about her behind her back just to make themselves feel better. I think she needs to find more like minded friends. Maybe you could find an evening activity with other girls her age and with her interests so she does not need to feel like she wants to hang out with the friends that freeze her out and then come back for her. 

Anonymkode: 11148...81b