Begynnelse på stil. Bedømme?

3. september 2002

She is a beautiful girl, with a beautiful smile. I am an awful girl, with an awful smile. We have always been enemies. From the time that I saw her bicycling around with her pink and new bike, to this very day, but there is not a bike she is riding on right now, it is my ex-boyfriend. The boy who said that he loved me for me, and hated her because she was a slut. But right now, at this very moment, he is fucking her upside down. I can hear her screaming like crazy in my imagination."Oh, Sam, take me, please! More, more!" It ismaking me sick. And I hate them both. Or, actually, I pretend I do. But I still fancy him. And he fancy her. And she fancy him. That is just the way it has to be. I guess..

I pick up the seventh number of "Cosmopolitan". I stare at the frontpage. There is the slut right there. Barely dressed. You know, she is a model. Of course she is a model, you say. I know you said it, everybody does. She is so beautiful, thin, attractive and glamorous. I know, I know. You do not have to rub it in my face, do you? I throw a book far ahead. I watch it goes out the window, further on, and after a wild flytrip, lands on the gras. I do not care, it was a stupid book. A book about love. Yeah, I know I am pathetic. But cannot you imagine? The boy I love is fucking someone else. In many weird positions. Fuck it all. I can just as well die. Who would have cared anyway? The boy I love, which in this particular moment, is reaching an orgasm? Do not think so. My mother, who is a widow who is fucking around? Do not think so either. My friends does not care about me, unless they have a problem. Then they will come to me. I am a supporter. A real friend in bad times. But who supports me when I need it? Can you imagine? I have so many friends, and still I am all alone. It sucks.

- I am brave, I say to myself. You can do it! I suppose I can. Today I am lesbian. I am fucking lesbian. I am going to have sex with a girl. A girl I do not even know. I knock on her door. A beautiful girl with long, curly hair opens. Great, she has big tits too. That is a plus, because I am an A-cup. She smiles, and invites me in. She tells me that her name is Amy. And I tell her that my name is Jane. And there I sit. With a cup of coffee in my right hand. Goddamn, I am actually sitting here with a stranger. A beautiful stranger. She asks me if I want to see her bedroom. I nod, and follow her into the other room. Gee, there is a pink lamp there. The slut who is fucking my ex-boyfriend also have one. But I do not care. I am here for a shag. A great fuck. With a girl. I am exited. She lays down on the bed. What the fuck? Is she crazy? I am not, and I repeat, NOT, going to lay there beside her yet. I amnot quite ready. But she drags me down. She is strong, and I am so weak. So I give up, while I walk into a dreamless fantasy, only that it is real. After the shag, I have made up my mind. No more men, they cannot satisfy me. Amy, here I come.

4. september 2002

Er dette en skolestil? Kanskje litt mye shagging og fucking? Tror ikke mine gamle lærere ville falt for akkurat den ordbruken, for å være ærlig.

4. september 2002

Mine gamle lærere hadde sendt deg til psykolog Joda, prøvde meg en gang i tiden (noen få år siden, haha) med "på kanten- stiler" og fikk faktisk gode karakterer på de.