Is this accepted in Norway? (Updated with more info)

[AnonymBruker]

I really thank for all who answered to my question. All answers made me more thoughtful and careful before I take an action.

I decided to not to seek "One night stand" to satisfy my sexual desire. It would hurt our relationship over the time, I guess. I have not asked my wife about "Open relationship" for both way either because I think my wife would feel sad for being asked "Open relationship". She might feel "dårlig samvittighet" or bad self-picture for not having sexual desire with me. She might feel that she is “Not good enough partner” for me.

I do not want her to feel any guilty or bad feeling because my unmet sexual desire.

Many wondered how our home situations are. Here comes more detail. She work two days a week and I work five days a week. Since she work lesser than me so she does more housework. That does not mean that I do not any housework. I do clean, make dinner at least three times a week, drive and bring kids from after school activity and so on. Yes, for sure she does much more housework than I do, but I feel very tired after all work at job and home too. She goes to gym and train hard at least three times a week. She loves training.

My stressful life didn’t kill my sexual desire and as I wrote before I masturbate at least two times a week and I am always ready for sex with my wife.

I will try to help her more with housework as many of you suggested.  I hope she get more energy and get back sexual desire again. Thank again for all thoughtful answers so far!

(My original post from 27.sept.2017)

Hi. I am married and have three kids. My wife and me had a great sex life when we did not have a children. Like many other woman, my wife lost interest or do not have energy to have sex with me anymore. She use all her energy for parenting and she is wonderful mother for our kid. I respect her and thank for her being good mother. But I need her as my sosial and sexual partner well. I love my wife and I want to recover our sex life. We have sex ones a month if I ask her many times. She never asked me having sex from her side. It is always me asking her. My wish is to have sex once a week which haven't happened more than 10 years. I am the person with very strong sexual desire. I masturbate at least twice a week with or without her help with her hand&mouse. I'm very frustrated over our situation and these days I am thinking about having one night stand with stranger without building relationships or feeling involved. I did not do that. Just thinking at the moment. I never had sex with other woman than my wife in my life and I feel guilty by just thinking about sex with other woman or watching porno and masturbating. I almost gave up sexual relationship with my wife but I do not want give up our relationship because she is very kind to me and children. She is very wonderful person and helped me a lot when I needed help. I know that I can not find any other woman better than her in my life. But i do not want to give up my sexual desire either. I talked to my wife about this issue and she tried to have sex with me once or twice but it does not last long, only last one or two weeks and i find again my wife with no sexual interest. Do you think it is possible to have a healthy relationship with my wife while I spend my sexual energy with other stranger?She feel often guilty not having desire/energy to have sex with me because busy parenting and children activity. i do not need to demand sexual relationship from my wife if i get enough sex with others without building relationships with them, and she might feel free from guilty.Can that be solution for us? Is it accepted in Norway to have one night stand in marrage? It is widly accepted in Japan where I came from and it is not even issue. Quite normal that having one night stand with stranger and at the same time keeping marriage without having sexual relationship. I would never think about having one night stand with stranger if I get enough sex in our marrage. I need some true advice. I do not want to hurt my wife or relationship for us and for our children.  And I want to follow Norwegian relationship rule and not Japanese rule since my wife is Norwegian.

Anonymkode: 22b79...d4a

[AnonymBruker]

Good to hear that you didn't seek a one night stand. It must be tough for you not having sex too often with your wife. I havn't seen the other answers that you got, but I would say that when having 3 children, it's quite normal to not want to have sex. 

I think you should focus less on sex and more on intimacy. Don't ask her about sex, it can give an upposite effect- she might feel pushed to have sex.

Give her hugs, hold her hand, by flowers, be a gentleman. Listen to her about her day, act like if you were on a date! Try to get babysitters so that you can spend the night or weekend at a hotel. See a romantic movie, offer a massage. In general, give her attention without expecting sex.(You can rather jerk off in the bathroom when she has gone to bed)' Light candles, put on nice music, ask her to dance with you. Whatever you think your wife would appreciate. A giftsertificate for her (or both of you?) to a spa.

Anonymkode: dfbb5...f4b

[AnonymBruker]

"I think you should focus less on sex and more on intimacy." Very good advice! I will try to focus on intimacy. She likes intimacy without having sex or expecting sex.

Anonymkode: 22b79...d4a